Dear Parker,
I can’t believe this would be your 19th birthday…
I often wonder what things would be like if you were still here with us…how would you be with your younger siblings (Haley, Ellington and Emerson)…you would be finishing up your second semester of college…what lucky young lady would have you as their boyfriend…
There are so many more things I wish I had the opportunity to experience with you as your dad…I feel a part of me will always have those moments of wonder. I miss hearing your voice…I miss your smell…I miss your hugs and kisses…
But I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus. I know you are home…
This day 19 years ago, you made me a dad. I will never forget that moment of holding you in my arms for the first time. I couldn’t stop smiling. Mommy couldn’t stop smiling either. It was overwhelming joy to see you. Your mommy and I were honored and blessed to be your parents. Other than our wedding day, your birth was the happiest day of our life.
I wanted to share a few videos from your childhood…we have so many great videos of you and your sister, Haley. Our course our family gets to enjoy them but I wanted to share them with others so they could see and know the Parker we love. Many have most likely seen these at some point but here they are again.
Parker coming home from the hospital:
Parker 1st birthday day:
July 2007 at beach:
August 2007 playing in blanket:
I wish you were here to watch these videos with me. We would be laughing so much at your silliness. Your friends would be enjoying these home videos as well.
I want you to know there is and will always be a missing space in our lives, our family, a forever hole in our hearts…and that time does not make the space less empty.
The Lord had a specific purpose for your life here on earth…and even though it was for only 5 years and approximately 3 month, it has impacted the Kingdom in a mighty way. There are countless number of people who have heard about Jesus and the joy, hope, comfort and peace that comes from only Him. Even though I can’t fully understand why your life was shorter than others, I know that your life was just as valuable in the eyes of God. You have made an eternal impact.
I miss you son…I will grieve for a lifetime…there is no “moving on” or “getting over it”. I wish people could understand that grief lasts forever because love lasts forever.
Being your dad is the best gift I’ve ever been given. Even death can’t take that away.
I will carry you in my heart until the day God takes me home. And on that day, I’ll see you again, I will rejoice that you are gloriously happy in heaven and that God fulfilled His purpose for your life.
I love you son…
Always will…
Happy 19th birthday…
…For those of you who have made it this far in the journal, thanks for reading and caring. The last few weeks I have been worshipping to this new song called “To be with the Lord” by Mitch Wong. It’s beautiful. Click the link above to listen. The lyrics of this worship song really hit home as I sing them…from “I’m thankful, I never have to wonder cause I know where you went”, to “I miss you and waiting isn’t easy, feels like eternity”, to “save a space for me in eternity”.
Tears stream down my face as I listen to this song and write this journal for my son, Parker. Almost 14 years without him and it feels like just yesterday.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18
Not only is God a safe place for us to bring our feelings of confusion, hurt, and anger while we grieve, but this Psalm reminds us that God is near to those who are brokenhearted.
Please join our family in prayer as we continue to grieve the loss of our precious son, Parker.
Until next time,
Daddy Hewitt
